Back to Part 048 Notes

There’s a lot going on here. Cait has to officiate a spat between Xiphos and Auburn, make sure her brother isn’t about to do something stupid, and, of course, see that her guests are taken care of, even if they’re not really welcome.

With Xiphos, Cait is at once perturbed and supportive. Xiphos admittedly doesn’t know how to do the job Cait expects of her, and perhaps Cait thought trial by fire may be the best teaching method. That being said, Cait is still interested in seeing Xiphos succeed, so when time comes to dispense advice Cait is happy to do so. In this case, it’s all about respect. Show respect, and get it back.

That’s the idea, at least.

As for Galle, well, I think I said everything in this section that I need to say.

Frankie’s a character who’s been giving me trouble since I first introduced her. She was much different in my head than she’s becoming on paper (or screen, if you like). She’s a character I had a name for first, and then a character. She’s always been a girl with a strange air about her. Here Xiphos notices a strangeness about her speech. We’ll touch more on her in later sections, though.

Still, there’s something about Frankie that makes Xiphos turn off her attitude, or perhaps Cait’s advice is sinking in, or both. She’s kind to the injured girl, curious about her path to her current situation, even helpful. And it seems all of this built up to a realization on her part. She delivers her last line almost out of obligation, as if she realized, “oh, I’m being too nice, time to lay it down.” So Xiphos will be nice to you, no doubt, but she won’t rescue you. She’s already used that one up.

As always, questions and comments and so on.

[g]

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Back to Part 048 Notes

Back to Part 045 Notes – Forward to Part 047 Notes

Welcome aboard La Ambicio, the home of what used to be the crew of the Rose, and then some. What Bertrand is starting to slowly realize is becoming a theme in this story (like I planned it or something): he can’t go back. He can’t go back to the Rose, can’t go back to the way life used to be. He and Sal, and the rest of Cait’s former crew, are stuck with Logan, or with a new life of piracy. And like Tami, these are things neither Sal nor Bertrand are interested in.

Eaton Fyfe kind of takes center stage in this section. He is the boss after all. He more or less lays out their plan here: figure out this map and then act on it. Getting to the Sandtribe territory is their first step, well, you know, after getting permission.

I’m going to point you back to Part 27, where Fyfe makes a quiet appearance, albeit in name only. I’m pointing you here because of the footnotes on the page, which imply Fyfe was/is a business man, he had some alleged and confirmed connections to pirates in business, and then, after he got caught, he disappeared. Turns out, he found Logan.

And finally, Patel and Tami. I’m not sure I need to say anything here, except give Erin a shout out of helping me get straight on this section, and figure out what the argument the Travelers have was really trying to do.

So, yeah, as always any questions or comments you have are totally welcome.

[g]

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Back to Part 045 Notes – Forward to Part 047 Notes

Back to Part 044 Notes – Forward to Part 046

Hey! It’s that guy! I’ve been giddy about posting this section for a while now. It’s a big reveal, and this is more or less the way I wanted it to happen. I know some of you had your suspicions, and I’m curious to hear how they panned out, if you were right or not.

The other big reveal is that Logan is somehow involved, and on the mystery boat. But I don’t think most of you are surprised by that. She’s been skulking around for a while now.

And Frankie? She’ll be fine. If Billy says so, then it’s true.

There was going to be an argument between Auburn and Toby about Xiphos, and where Toby’s loyalties lie, but I didn’t think it fit, nor was it needed. Toby’s loyal to both of them for different reasons, Auburn because of the Firebrand and being in a relationship with her, and Xiphos because, well, she saved his life. But Toby’s not interested in getting into this argument, and it would have only served as an exposition of something that was already obvious: there’s bad feelings between Auburn and Xiphos, even if it’s mostly a one way street from the latter to the former.

I hate that I’ve reduced Frank to a throw-away line in the beginning. I’ve had a scene in mind that takes place on the Firebrand, right before Auburn boards the Rose. Frank is telling her he’s going home with the Sandtribe ship that showed up to the rescue. Auburn isn’t happy, but understands. They both trade Relay codes, and he disappears into the Sandtribe ship.

I never included it in the sections before and up to this one because I never could find a place to put it. I may yet try. We have plenty of time left with Auburn before I kill her off. Maybe it’ll end up as a cut scene in one of these commentaries.

Anyways, that’s all for this week. As always any questions or comments you have are totally welcome.

[g]

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Back to Part 044 Notes – Forward to Part 046

Back to Part 043 Notes – Forward to Part 045 Notes

So, despite technical difficulties, I managed to get this section out on time. Not bad, considering I got my computer back three hours before deadline. Also, that’s why there’s any spelling errors or typos.

*ahem*

I’m about 90% happy with this section. We get a hint about Frankie, the Travelers are being douches, which has become part of their magic, and The Captain is flexing some brain muscle, but was out-flexed (ugh, I know. Sorry.) by the Travelers and their contact. Also, we get to hear a little more about Cait’s family, which is always fun.

I have little to say about this section, because I think a lot of things stand for themselves. My favorite line, though, is when The Captain says they are being stalked, and he’s losing his patience. “Which do you think will be worse?” We know now that the Travelers were biding their time, so they knew the stalking would be good for them. I’m not too sure they were all that worried about The Captain, or that they weren’t before this section.

One last note, and I’m sure you guys have picked up on this already: Patel does the heavy damage in these situations, but Tami is always the one to strike first, despite what she says to Patel.

God, I love those two. They weren’t supposed to be this much fun. Actually, Tami was a late addition. I’m glad I added her in.

As always, any questions or comments are totally welcome.

[g]

Back to Part 043 Notes – Forward to Part 045 Notes

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Back to Part 041 Notes – Forward to Part 043 Notes

Hey, check it out, it’s Cait’s mentor, Captain Alistair Mossflower. Although I’m sure he wasn’t a captain when he was training her twenty years ago. They’ve gotten close through the years, Alistair and his wife Helen even going so far as to treat Cait as family, and Cait likewise. There’s a couple of reasons this section is here, which will become apparent as we go. However, the one line I built this section on I had forgotten when I posted yesterday. It’s there now, but the important part is this:

“Anything for the Family, dear.” Spoken by Alistair. Close to M’Ba, Cait’s father, Alistair is devoted to the Family Molyneux, as many are.

There was another part to this section, but I cut it. Basically, Cait coming back to the Rose and doing her thing.

“Welcome back,” Billy said to Cait as she briskly entered the Rose.

“How soon can we be underway?” Cait asked. She immediately headed to the bridge.

“Soon, I expect. Xiphos and Toby will meet us at the north lock. Apparently he got words of a farmer’s market by a few shops.”

“Since when does the Narwe Canal have shops?” Cait didn’t sound irritated, just curious, and Billy was glad for the change in mood.

“Within the last year. The wait has gotten so bad the Locks thought it might be nice to accommodate tourists and the like.”

“Hmm.”

Tre was busy readying the Rose to push off from the docks. Cait leaned over his shoulder, and she ruffled his mane. “How are we doing, dear?”

Tre looked up at Cait and gave her a firm thumbs up.

Cait smiled and ruffled his mane again. “Excellent. Let me know when we are relatively high up in the queue at the north lock.”

Tre nodded, brushing his now-discheveled mane out of his eyes. Billy noticed his cheeks had tinted a slight but noticeable pink.

“You’re in a good mood,” Billy said. He followed Cait into her office.

“For once, yes,” Cait said.

And that’s about all I got. There’s a little more about Billy passing Cait a number the commander had left for her, and Cait dismissively tossing it out. Where this whole section was going, though, was Cait having a sudden realization: “Billy, ten days after Chou’s birthday was right around the time Nina was killed.”

Not a question. A solid realization. I’ll have to write it in to another section.

As always, any questions and comments you have are totally welcome.

[g]

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Back to Part 041 Notes – Forward to Part 043 Notes

Back to Act III Prologue Notes – Forward to Part 042 Notes

And welcome back to the Rose. This section is very much intended to be such, a welcome back, and a reintroduction of the characters. Billy’s in his infirmary, albeit a little more juvenile than before. Toby’s in the kitchen, making exactly what people want. Tre’s fulfilling his first mate duties. Auburn is being new. And Xiphos… well, she gets to be Xiphos, both belligerent and awkward.

I’m changing a line that bugged me all day.

“Sir,” Auburn said quietly. “I hope that’s ok. He’s like a living plushie; you can’t help but want to cuddle with him.”

Is now:

“Sir,” Auburn said quietly. “I hope that’s ok. He’s like a living plushie; you can’t help but want to hug him.”

It’s a minor change, but it really did bug me. And plushie is such an awkward word, but doll would have sounded too girly, and teddy bear is likely a guy these people actually work with.

Is it wrong that I chose the image of the Kelonio on the horizon, lights blazing in a somewhat choppy sea, because it looks so fucking cool on Deadliest Catch? That’s pretty wrong, isn’t it? Well I am ashamed.

Anyways, that’s all I got for today. As always, any questions or comments you have are totally welcome.

[g]

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Back to Act III Prologue Notes – Forward to Part 041 Notes

Back to Part 040 Notes – Forward to Part 041 Notes

We start off Act III with Rose Molyneux. After 40 sections, it’d be a good idea to talk about her a little more. Here, the Molyneux give us Rose’s official biography. Like any Molyneux, she’s wildly successful at what she does. She spent only two years at the Academy in Archertown, but she knows enough to fight fairly well. She enters Naval Academy at 16, a year late, and still graduates head of her class. She takes a commission in the Latanian Navy immediately after she graduates, the youngest to do so. She basically invents the modern strategies of Shah. She is Molyneux, so she excels. (Side note, it’d be fun to do a series of the losers of the Molyneux family, the mouth-breathers and chronic masturbators of the family. They do not get invited to reunions.)

Just like the Act II prologue was in some way about betrayal, and so Act II itself handled betrayal (kinda), Act III has to do with Rose herself, and history, and of course, Cait. How these three things relate will (hopefully) be clear at the end of Act III.

In the meant time, we’ll be back on track with the Rose next week. As always, I welcome any questions or comments you have.

Amendment: I’ve been advertising on Project Wonderful for a while, and I thought to balance out my expenses I’d put an ad on the site. I’m actually pretty uncomfortable about it, but Project Wonderful is exactly what the name delivers, and any money I’d get from the ad would first go towards my own advertising and if there’s any left, into my own pocket. So, what do you think, sirs?

[g]

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Back to Part 040 Notes – Forward to Part 041 Notes

Back to Part 039 Notes – Forward to Act III Prologue Notes

Hey! It’s those jerks again! I’ve started really enjoying checking in with the Travelers. Where as they used to be great friends, having met while out Traveling, their friendship is strained and almost certainly through, and it’s fun to watch that relationship fall apart. Tami is too far in denial to acknowledge what her brain is trying to tell her: Patel shouldn’t be trusted, and she should get as far away from him as she can. But on the other hand, there’s a lot of loyalty there that hints at past events, maybe something on the level of life-saving or perhaps unrealized romance. I gotta feel it’s the former.

The captain seems to know something is going on between them.

And there’s Burian Lake. I’ve run in to problems with him that I hadn’t expected. One thing I’ve worried about from the start is trying to keep Lake scary and, at the same time, ever-present. We get one real scene with him because I fear putting him out in the open all the time will make him less scary. That, and Lake’s in stalking mode right now, so he’s trying not to be seen, not noticed. So we get one scene of Lake in action, and then people talking about him.

So, end of the Act. All of this was really supposed to be one act, but Nina’s death was so traumatic that it warranted a rest. One thing I’d do better is the Firebrand. A lot of things were brought up and dropped. There was a lot of opportunity there that fell apart in the midst of a move. The next draft, right?

So that’s all I got for now. I’m sure I’ll think of something in a few hours. In the mean time, may I solicit questions and/or comments? What do you think, sirs?

[g]

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Back to Part 039 Notes – Forward to Act III Prologue Notes

Back to Part 039 – – Forward to Act III Prologue

It was hot, and Patel kept the door of the public Relay booth open just a crack. Sea air drifted in from the crack. Patel took a deep breath while his message printed. When it was done, he tore it from the printer, and stepped outside.

As far as stops like this went, it wasn’t bad. The captain had pulled in to this little island for fuel before taking the journey across the Narwe Canal, up to the Northern Ocean. There was a little harbor that served about half a dozen boats, the fuel station, where the captain was negotiating for the fuel, a little market, and what looked like a very large pub. Patel couldn’t see the interior of the island, not much of it, anyways, but caught a glimpse of little houses built up on stilts. The islanders must have relied on those who stopped for fuel to feed their businesses.

Tami was at the market, negotiating at a fruit stall in broken Merchant. She wasn’t practiced, and neither was Patel, but when one became a Traveler, it was hard not to pick up some Merchant.

“Whatcha doin?” Patel asked, sidling up to her. Tami gave him a quick glance, and then took out her wallet. She gave the merchant a COS League and a Latanian Sovereign. The merchant gave her change back in gold bits, little metal coins that were good anywhere in the world.

“Buying presents for the crew,” Tami said. She took the basket from the merchant. “Danko,” she said, giving the stall owner a little bow. She turned back toward the docks. “Even after some terrible bargaining, it was still really cheap.” She covered the fruit with a cloth, shooing away some flies. She noticed the Relay print-out in Patel’s hand. “That from the boss?”

“Yeah,” Patel said. “And some news, too. Check this out.” He held up a headline: “Molyneux Uncovers, Shuts-Down Illegal Child Prison.” “It’s about Cait,” he said.

“Good to see they’re doing well,” Tami said.

“I never thought we had to worry about them,” Patel said, grinning.

Tami did her best not to look at him. “What about the boss?”

“Well, that’s the weird thing,” he said. “We’re supposed to either get a ride wherever we can, or bring the captain in on this.”

Tami took a few more steps, considering what Patel had said. “That is weird.”

“Yuh huh. I guess it’s ‘the more the merrier’, huh?”

“I don’t want to get a ride here.” Tami looked around, her ears dropping a little. She eyed some of the ships in the harbor.

“No?” Patel stuck his hands into his pockets.

“This place reeks of pirate.”

“And our captain doesn’t?”

“No!” Tami said, narrowing her eyes. “At least, I don’t think so.”

“Considering how little work any of us have done in the last few months, I get that feeling a lot.”

“You think the worst in people,” Tami said, clutching her basket tighter. “Anyways, they’re too cute to be pirates, and what does a lack of work have to do with being a pirate?”

“Whatever,” Patel said. “We should at least try to bring our captain in. A known is better than an unknown.”

“Bring me in to what?” The captain came towards the both of them, folding a wallet back into his pocket. He looked between them, walking like he did most every place, like he was supposed to be there. Patel jumped.

“Whoa, sorry,” he said, giving Patel a soft smile. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

“Our contact,” Patel said. “Our contact is working on something big and thinks you should be brought in, you know, as a token of gratitude and what not.”

The captain motioned them to follow him back to the boat. “What is it, this big thing?”

“Can’t really say,” Tami said.

“We don’t really get to know that kind of stuff,” Patel shrugged.

“But we have faith in our contact.”

The captain, turned to look at the both of them. His tail twitched behind him. “Faith can make us do a lot of things we know we shouldn’t.” He looked right at Tami. Her eyes grew wide, and she dropped them away.

“Sounds like fun,” the captain said. “I’ll run it by Jace, see what she thinks. Is that for us?” He pointed to Tami’s basket.

“Y-yeah,” she said, handing it over to him. She hoped he didn’t notice how much she was shaking.

The captain smiled at her. “Aw. Thanks! Jace and Frankie will be thrilled.” He climbed up the ladder on his boat to the hatch, and disappeared down inside.

“Well,” Patel said, turning to Tami. “That was easier than I thought it was going to be.” He nudged Tami, breaking her out of her trance. She jumped, shrieking a little, her ears folding against her head.

“You alright?”

“Fine,” Tami mumbled. They both climbed up the ladder.

“Hey,” Patel said up at the top. “We’ll be fine.”

“Shut up,” Tami said. She slid down into the boat, and disappeared into her quarters.

—

Captain Burian Lake slammed his fist down on his desk. This was taking far longer than he had anticipated. He fumed, pacing the length of his quarters. He was accustomed to doing as he pleased, taking what he wanted, when he wanted. But every time he got close to this map, something was there to wrench it away. He scowled. What’s worse was how tangible it felt, and yet it was always just beyond arms length.

On his wall hung his sword, the Sword of A Thousand Lost Souls. He took it down gingerly, pulled it from its sheath. It sang as he twisted it carefully in the air, vibrating ever so slightly. It was a light Gosian sword, taken from a Gosian ship. The story went that Burian took the ship, and when attacked by a Gosian soldier, parried his sword blows with a simple wooden baton. He took the sword after a short fight, and then flayed the soldier alive. Lake liked that story.

The sword was light, bladed on one side, and curved gently. Its blade shone bright even in the dim light of his cabin. He mediated with the sword in his hand, let its presence calm him. The map was close, and he would take it. He began to plan his endgame.

[End of Act II]

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Back to Part 039 – Forward to Act III Prologue

Back to Part 038 Notes – Forward to Part 040 Notes

So this is the patching things up section. Toby’s back on the Rose, where his so-called “fan club” waits for him to come back. Xiphos has waited at his side in previous drafts, despite the enigmatic and cold welcome back she gives him. Auburn’s a fairly new addition. Auburn was supposed to be a character that shows up, does her thing, and then rides into the sunset, so to speak. In this case, when Cait offered her a ride, she had originally taken the Firebrand and a small crew out onto the ocean. This is a horrible idea, and she knows it. The firebrand his a fairly large ship, a hospital ship the size of a destroyer or a smaller cruise ship. There’s simply no way she would have gotten far. And that’s not to mention the constant hurricanes that develop in the ocean. She simply wouldn’t have made it. Still, turning to Cait, she would have said, “I have a ship.” Cait understands that entirely.

And so, logically, Auburn wouldn’t have gone home, and Cait knows she wouldn’t want to. And we’ve seen in the past, Cait is more than happy to take on strays. I don’t know yet how Cait plans to cover for Auburn, but likely it’ll be Molyneux Island protection. Ah, owning a sovereign nation; it’s such a wonderful little god hand.

As for Toby’s parents, well… Though I do it no justice, a lot of what the Firebrand is come from Help At Any Cost, a pretty horrific account of these camps. Pick it up some time. It’s fairly terrible what these camps do to kids.

Anyways, we’re getting close to the finish line here for Act II. Let me know if you have any questions or comments. They do so make my day.

[g]

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Back to Part 038 Notes – Forward to Part 040 Notes