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Boat Story 021 Notes
Dec 15th, 2009 by grantcravens
New reader? Start here.
Back to Part 020 Notes – Forward to Part 022 Notes
Man, a lot happens here in just 1000 words. Toby tries to run away again, this time with the endorsement, so to speak, of Cait. Xiphos wants to bring him back, and even defying Cait to do so, and the escort comes back. Remember him? If you don’t, it’s because he hasn’t been around since section 1, and last mention in section 5.
Also, the escort kind of talks like Rorschach. So that’s weird.
There’s a couple of things happening behind the scenes here. At the insistence of my editor/beta reader Erin, the “Tall guy, right. Funny accent, maybe speaks Ysan?” comment by Xiphos, and the back and forth between her and the escort was left in. It almost didn’t happen. I did cut out some from the beginning of that interaction, but ket the tall guy remark. My reasoning had been that Xiphos was too injured to play like that, but Erin looked at it a different way: Xiphos tries to be tough, but she isn’t. The tall guy remark is Xiphos trying to be tough. The stuff at the beginning, though, could go away easily.
The other thing was whether Toby got into the van before the escort showed up or not. That little piece of ambiguity was all Erin.
Anyways, that’s all I got this week. Anything I didn’t mention? As always, your questions and comments are totally welcome.
[g]
PSST! If you’ve been enjoying the series so far, please stop by and drop me a vote on top web fiction. You may do so with this link. Thanks! It’s much appreciated.
Back to Part 020 Notes – Forward to Part 022 Notes
Tags: adventure, anthro, boat, Boat Story, commentary, fiction, notes, serial, web fiction, weblit
Posted in Boat Story, fiction, writing