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Bourbon stumbled out of his room and yawned. It was well past three in the afternoon, and he didn’t care. He made his way across the basement, stopping to turn off the TV before he made his way up the steps. He stopped. He hadn’t been watching TV earlier in the day, — mostly, he slept. He turned back to the couch.
“Hey,” he said.
Bryan lay on his side on the couch, remote in hand. He watched Bourbon. He looked just a bit annoyed.
“Where’s Ty?” Bourbon asked.
Bryan shrugged. “Out, I guess.”
Bourbon sat down at the end of the couch. He started to speak, but hesitated. Bryan watched, his focus unwavering. Bourbon turned away, clenching his hands into fists.
“Look, I’m sorry about Saturday.”
Bryan shifted, but he didn’t say anything. The fur on the back of Bourbon’s neck bristled.
“I know you guys are mad at me, and I guess I can’t take back what I did-”
“Do you even know why we’re mad?”
“…cause I stayed with my old friends, even though they were really shitty to you?”
“Try again.”
Bourbon flinched. “I guess cause I got drunk?”
“Close.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“It is.”
“Well, then what the fuck is it?” Bourbon snapped at Bryan. He turned, faster than Bryan was expecting, and landed his fist in the middle of Bryan’s chest. Bryan barely flinched. “I hate this! I hate how you despise drinking! You make it sound like its this awful thing, and it’s not. You and Ty and Farly and Jon, all of you. When have you ever done it?”
“You’re sixteen, you don’t need to be doing that,” Bryan said, raising his voice.
“Listen to you! You act like you’re so much better than any of us, like you’re smarter. You’re sixteen too!”
“You’re an idiot,” Bryan said, narrowing his stare at Bourbon.
“Fuck you,” Bourbon said. He got up to leave.
“Think about it!” Bryan said, calling after Bourbon. “Your best friend’s parents were killed by a drunk driver. Your boyfriend’s parents were killed by a drunk driver. My older sister’s in jail because she decided she was cool to drive after a party, hit a telephone pole, and the girl in her car with her died. And Jon’s dad! What about him? You know Jon hasn’t seen his dad in eight years?”
Bourbon stopped, his back to Bryan, his fists clenched. He kept his eyes on the stairs.
Bryan drew his jaw tight, still focused on Bourbon. “You broke your promise to Farly.”
Bourbon almost stumbled on the steps. He reached out for the handrail. He turned back to Bryan. “That’s… that’s it?”
“Part of it.”
Bourbon sat down on the couch, falling back. “What’s the other part?”
“You hurt yourself,” Bryan said. He relaxed, his shoulders dropping. “And you did it for people that don’t care about you. You can do better.”
Bourbon nodded. He turned away from Bryan and closed his eyes, and held himself. “I think Farly broke up with me,” he said.
“What?”
“I tried to talk with him this morning, but he didn’t want to. He’d rather walk to school and get jumped than talk to me.”
Bryan stared down at his hands. He breathed a long sigh. “He didn’t break up with you,” he said, feeling each word out before he said it. “He’s crazy about you, you know? That’s why he’s upset. He’s the only reason-” Bryan stopped himself. He fidgeted.
“What?”
“He’stheonlyreasonyoubecameapartofthegroup,” Bryan said, avoiding Bourbon’s gaze.
Bourbon’s ears dropped. He narrowed his eyes at the ground.
“It’s not like that!” Bryan said, trying to get the words out all at once. “You’re our friend now. We just had our… doubts before.” He slumped on the couch, still not looking at Bourbon.
Bourbon sighed. “And Farly changed that?”
“Ty and Jon and I were worried, until Farly couldn’t stop talking about you. He crushed hard.”
Bourbon could feel the blood rise up into his face. He owed everything to the Feldman Skatepark. Exiled from his house on a nice day, he literally ran into a girl. She was smart, a tomboy, and she had no trouble out-skating most of the boys there. She offered him a drink at her house. She seemed a little irked when he started smoking, but didn’t really say much about it. When they stepped inside, the boy was there. They both stopped, the boy looking away, totally shy, but smiling a little. The girl came back with a can of soda, and looked between the two of them, and she seemed to know what was happening. She introduced them, Bourbon to Farly, and when she said Bourbon should come back sometime, Farly agreed completely.
It was Bourbon’s favorite memory. His best friend and his boyfriend on the same day. And the day he started to move away from his old friends to his new ones.
Bourbon stood up and stretched.
Bryan looked up at him. “Where are you off to?”
“I have to get stuff from home.”
Bryan nodded. “…need any help?”
“Sure.”
Bryan collected himself from the couch, and couched down to tie his shoes. “What happens when your parents catch you there?”
“We’ll be OK,” Bourbon said.
“OK, but what happens if they do?”
Bourbon didn’t have an answer for that, not a good one.
[g]
